Friday, January 31, 2014

Metaphor Poem Rough Draft


My life is represented through the sky
Two sided; I never have one personality
And no matter how hard they try
I am unpredictable.
The stars and clouds represent my happy and sad memories
Even if they are the brightest or barley visible
They make up whom I am.
My imagination is showed through the constellations of the stars
And the shapes of the clouds
Some ideas last forever
And some eventually fade away.
The sky stretches long and wide
Never seeming to have an end
So will my life and soul
As long as I remain righteous and worthy
I eventually get angry and take my wrath
As the sky rains
And storms
It always gives back.
My heart is very rare
But nevertheless unbreakable
As the sky shows love to its people
It never regrets what it gives.





3 comments:

  1. Your poem is really good and very artsy. If you are going to put punctuation in the poem have it through out the whole poem instead of just some of the sentences. And if you put in periods try not to capitalize each of the beginnings of the sentences (like if they're apart of the same sentence)

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  2. I like how you are very good at explaining why you are the sky. Maybe just like Mishap said fix the punctuation, but other then that good poem.

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  3. YOU MIGHT WANT TO ADD MORE REASONING BEHIND WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE. ALSO TRY TO DISCUSS MORE OF THE DARK SIDE OF THE SKY AND YOU. BUT OVERALL GREAT DRAFT. ms(3-)

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