On a stormy Saturday night, I was left on my bed left with nothing to do. I constantly scrolled through Instagram hoping that someone had posted something. Then, my dad walked into my room and asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him. Truthfully, in my mind I thought "No not again.... just leave me alone". As I opened my mouth, the word "Yes" accidentally slipped from my lips. As I walked into the living room, he already had a movie picked out. Logged on to Netflix, the title "Rudy" was spread across my giant television screen. I thought to myself, "ohh gosh... here's another one of my dad's old boring movies". Throughout the movie, I began to see why my father had wanted me to watch it. Besides the fact that it was a football movie, and I just started playing my first season of football, this movie taught me what no textbook could, perseverance and fearlessness. The story was about a man who dreamed of playing for Notre Dame college. Although he was probably the smallest guy, that whole ideal didn't stop him from accomplishing the goal he wanted. With the last game of his senior year at Notre Dame, he was able to play the last 11 seconds and sack the quarter back.
Why am I telling you this? Because I was the complete opposite of Rudy. I was always afraid of failure. I constantly told myself, "What if this happens..." of "What if I fail..". This mentality often acted as a personal barrier, hindering me from attempting new things. An example would be arriving to my new high school. As my freshmen year begun, I was to afraid to join a club or sport. I was always afraid of not being good at it and others judgment. "Rudy" taught me something that contradicted my mentality. It taught me to do what make me happy. It taught me to work towards my goals and not care about what others think. It taught me to not be afraid of failure and not fear trying over and over again. Overcoming this wasnt the easiest thing to do. I couldnt just wake up one morning and think completely opposite. But what really pushed me to change my thinking was seeing how happy he was. At the end of the movie, Rudy was screaming of joy, and crying tears for he couldnt believe what he had accomplished. After all the countless doubts, he never let any negativity change his mindset or quit on his goals. This example is what drove me to become like Rudy. I wanted to feel utter joy, I wanted to feel the feeling of accomplishing a long time goal.
From that point on, my high school goal was to try something new. It was to do something out of my comfort zone. Later that year, I signed up for the football team. You may say, "what is so special about that?" or "so what?". Well, I had never played football before, not even flag. It was something very different from the other sports I played. But something about this bloodthirsty sport intrigued me. It was the commitment and brotherhood that the team had for each other. Therefore, after the long reflections of whether I should do it or not, I finally bit down and signed up. From that moment on, I never regretted a single moment. I learned so much both physically and mentally, I feel that after that season, I grew and matured both on and off the field. I learned to prioritize and manage my time. I learned to be committed to something that I participated in. Although I wasn't very good at it when i first started, I feel that my want to be good pushed me to keep working and eventually keep improving. After really getting to play the sport a little bit, I started to see how much me and Rudy were alike. We were both pretty small guys, and we both kind of shared the same determination. The only thing that set me apart from him was my personal barrier. But after I had joined the football team, I had felt that I had broke that barrier. As you can see, the littlest thing like writing my name on a piece of paper has taught me so much.
Most of all, I learned to not be afraid of trying new things out of my comfort zone. The reason why is because I feared failure. But I learned that only success can be gained from failure. After messing up, I can only become better. This is why I feel that I broke a personal barrier. Because from this whole experience, I gained both confidence and apathy. Confidence in a sense that I am not afraid to try new things, to talk to new people, and to speak my opinion. I gained apathy in a sense that i don't care about the negative judgments of others. I learned to not let their negativity affect my life and my actions. Now, I learned that there is only one thing that stops me from feeling true happiness, and that one thing is myself.I am the that tells me "I cant" or " What if". Looking back at this whole football experience, I can really prove how foolish and goofy my mindset was. I am able to see how much the "comfort zone" mentality stops you from accomplishing so much. After a couple games, I was finally able to accomplish something that i never thought someone like me would do. For the homecoming game of my sophomore year, I was a starter on defense in the cornerback position. Although we did nor win, I still feel that my long time goal had finally been accomplished. And to think that all this could've have started with a movie on a stormy night. A movie that I would never think that would help me to this very day.
I may not be the most outstanding person, but i lack something that most people don't, that is empathy for others negativity. I am not afraid of failure, nor of things out of my comfort zone. I am not afraid of what others negatively think, because I know that it can do nothing but go through one ear, and out the other. It is like being afraid of the dark. We only fear because it is unknown. I am not going to let this affect me anymore. This is a personal barrier I have broken.
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