Coming of Age Draft

Trying something new can always be difficult. We fear the notion of being judged and being rejected by the standards set by society. But sometimes, the want to meet these standards can hinder us from accomplishing what we should  and achieving true happiness. I feel that i have experienced this predicament first hand. And although it was difficult for me stop having this "impress everyone" type of thinking, I feel that I was able to overcome it and mature in a way.

As I arrived to Moanalua, I was worried about making friends. I was worried about how i looked, where i would hang out, and most of all, others perspective and judgment of myself. As we all know, high school is a very diverse community filled with many different cultures and beliefs, especially at this particular high school. This truth frightened me. I felt that if i didn't dress or speak a certain way like how others did, then i wouldn't be accepted in the community i wanted to be part of. This mentality often affected my school wide participation and also my outgoingness toward activity out of y comfort zone. It made me more timid as a person. therefore, I went through my first days or so just with nothing. I was afraid that if I tried something new and i wasn't good at it, then others around the school would look down upon me.

More and more days passed, and nothing changed. But I started to realize something. I noticed that no matter how nerdy someone was or how weird I thought they were, they always had friends and people to laugh and have fun with. They never seemed mopey or unhappy. They seemed to be enjoying their time in high school. Later that week at a ministry for youth that my church held, the instructors spoke about the diversity of high school and finding true friends. Their lessons taught me that true friends accept you for who you are. And adding to that, they share beliefs and interests with you. I soon started to realize that maybe if i tried being myself, then friends that accepted me would come along. This ideal took a lot of getting used to. As the school year went on, then i started to become more comfortable with my environment and the people in it.

Toward the ending of the school year was where I really broke out of my shell. This is when I decided to join the sport of football. Now, this may not seem like much, but i feel that this is when i really started to become a little more apathetic, in a good way. I have never played football before, ever, and I knew that compared to all the other sports I participated in, it was the most rough and the most physical. But for some reason, I had the urge to try it. This taught me the meaning of true friends. Everyone accepted each other, no matter how different they were, they all shared a common interest, football. And i think this is what drew me so much to join. Because i knew that i would be able to talk to other people. As I began to hang out with the team, I began to care less of what others thought. I began to like high school, and most of all, I began to act as myself. I was no longer trying to impress everyone, for i knew that i no longer had to.

This event taught me the trait of apathy, or not caring. In some cases, it could be a not so good trait to have. But in another way, it can help you. It helped me to become more outgoing and to care less of society's standards. It helped me to realize what true friends are and who they were around me. And most of all, it taught me to not care... to not care of others judgment. I feel that is have made high school a more enjoyable place for me. And I feel that i have matured. In the near future, i won't be afraid to try new things. I will work for what makes me happy.